Codechild

It seems to me that the measure of a person can be determined when they are at their worst. That is, when the person is going through difficult things. People who live their live trouble free just advancing slowly will ultimately have less depth than those that go through troubles and hardship.

The more pain you have in your life, either you will be broken, or you will gain experience and excel past those who have not gone through the same hard things.

Since my accident I have found myself trying to assign blame for what happened to me to someone or something. It seems someone should be responsible for such a terrible thing. I have been unable to assign any blame, and I don’t think I should be thinking that way anyway. Circumstances added up and the accident was the result. Trying to assign a cause to it holds me back from seeing it as it really is.

I feel sometimes like giving up. What happened is a terrible thing, but I must choose to look past it and fight for what I believe in.

I believe in continuing to live and having hope to face every day. I don’t believe in giving up or backing down. I must not give up or be afraid.

I have not cried heavily since it happened. I want to very much. I often feel very dis-spirited and angry at what has happened. I feel it is wrong.

Despite that, what matters is the present, not the past. The past is said and done. What is important is what I do with the future.